I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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