Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
