His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
there is glitter all over my balls
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
