can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
