Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
