I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
