lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm always down for nudity.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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