She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
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We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
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I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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