At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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