I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
