did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
