id be glad to
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
