I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
