i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
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