Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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