she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
