...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
