What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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