Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
