Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize