I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
