I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Sorry my hands just texted you
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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