the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
