Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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