Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
