she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize