she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
