Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
