found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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