He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize