We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
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He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The feeling are messing with the penis
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
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Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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