Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
They are going to name an STD after you.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
