OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
