i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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