He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
