I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Randomize
