Already got asked if we're dating
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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