You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
