Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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