As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
