I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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