I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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