A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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