Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
