You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
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