You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
