You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
