Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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