I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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