So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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