yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
