Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
