oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize