ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
