I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
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he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
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First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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