I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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