I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
If I die, sorry about rent.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
