I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
