i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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