she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
